Writing A Book Is Not A Side Hustle

Writing a Book is Not a Side Hustle

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I’ve never given birth before, but…

… after I “gave birth to” my first book, I said, “Oh heck no, this shop is closed for business for a while” in the same way that I expect a lot of parents probably feel after their first kid. Then they forget the pain and go for the second—and so did I. Flash forward, my fourth book, Miss Independent, is out now.

Don’t get me wrong: being an author is an honor and was a goal of mine for as long as I can remember. But it was far from easy. It started as something I dabbled in on the side and quickly took over all of my career focus and energy. By the time I signed my contract for my first book Rich Bitch, I had four rejected book proposals, one other signed contract that I had to get out of after my new employer didn’t approve and three ex–book agents (yes, finding the right agent is like dating). My decade-plus of false starts put me face-to-face with a harsh reality: getting a book sold, writing a book, and making a book successful is a full-time job.

Yes, there are aspects of writing a book that can be done “on the side.” You hear about it all the time, right? Actors and celebs publish books while filming movies or launching products or doing other projects. But, news flash: actors usually have a lot of help and/or pay someone to write their book.

For the rest of us, let’s keep it real: an idea for a book is not necessarily a good book. A proposal for a book is not necessarily a good book. And even a finished book is not necessarily a good book. And here’s the toughest part of all: a good book isn’t necessarily a successful book.

I’m the number one proponent of having a book that expands your brand to a wider audience. It can be a good marketing tool. It’s definitely a good platform, and, yes, it’s something you can tell your grandkids about. But before you go down the book-writing road you have to know exactly what you’re getting into.

Here’s the letter I wrote to my younger, pre-author self so you can learn from her mistakes:

Dear 20-year-old Nicole,

The book world sounds glamorous. It is not.

There are a million books online, in stores, and in the library. But, for every million books there are, there are 99 million rejections. You will get rejected. A lot.

The first thing you should know is that you need to write a proposal—and it better be solid. As a first-time author, that proposal needs to include at least a few chapters. The proposal can’t be based on a so-so concept. And even though you will try really hard, your first proposal will suck. The second proposal you will write will be for a quarter-century memoir, which was a good concept. A publisher will buy it, but that will be at the wrong time in your career. The third proposal you will write is going to be about decoding the Wall Street Journal, which will seem like a cool idea—until the WSJ sends you a cease and desist letter for potentially violating their trademark. The fourth proposal will be called Making Bank and will bill itself as a cooler finance book geared toward young men and women. It will go far through the pitching process—until the publisher who wants to buy it before the holidays is laid off by the new year, which will lead to the death of that book and your idea.

The second thing I want you to know is that you need an agent. The first agent you’ll have is from a small firm in San Diego. She will be about your age at the time, young but hungry, and thus tell you that your first proposal is awesome—when it isn’t. This won’t work out, and when you sign on with the prestigious CAA, they will have a high-powered book agent who will take you on; he’ll tell you to scrap the first concept and push you to dig deep into your personal history. He will go on to successfully sell that book, but by the time that first deal fizzles, he will have such big clients that he will no longer have time for you. You will then find a third agent who forgets to tell you that using a title including the Wall Street Journal is not, um, legal. And so, after many fits and starts, you will take a hiatus from the frustrating world of books.

The third thing I want to tell you is that if you do get a chance at your first book and it sucks, you can forget about having a second one. So while you are pissed by all your misadventures until now, they will all happen . . . for a reason. They are a blessing in disguise, because they will safeguard you from publishing a crummy first book and instead lead you to the killer book you will pitch ten years after you start this process, one that will become the right content at the right time.

The fourth thing you need to know is that you won’t make much money on your first book. (BTW, J. K. Rowling got $4,000 for her first book deal.) You will technically get a six-figure advance, but it will be in name only. After paying a 15% agent fee and hiring a badass promotional squad, you’ll make less than mama Harry Potter . . . and I’m not JKing.

You will also discover that you won’t get that money all at once; the payments will be broken down in thirds, forcing you to keep scraping by while you write your book. And you will reinvest whatever little remaining money you earned (and then way more of your savings) into marketing and promoting the book so it sells and you get a second book deal.

The next thing I want you to know is that you will hit the New York Times bestseller list, and others. It will be the hardest thing you will ever do in your career. You will spend months and months figuring out how to get on the most podcasts, radio shows, and TV. You will bust your tush trying to get covered in every publication no matter how small or big the outlet. You will plumb the depths of your contact list to find friends to ask to promote your book on social media, buy books in bulk, and throw parties for you. You will spend every hour of every day promoting the daylights out of it to anyone who will listen. But I promise you . . . as exhausting as it all sounds, you will find that in the end it will be worth it.

The last thing I want you to know is that when all the marketing hoopla subsides, people will, it turns out, continue to buy your book, but not because of that hoopla; rather, because you actually wrote a good book. When all the razzle-dazzle goes away, people buy books because their friends vouch for them. So make sure that for every other book you write (there will be others), it is chock-full of good content. And to do that right, it can’t be a side hustle; you must treat it as if it is a full-time job. You can do this, young Lapin, but it’s not something you want to take lightly. You can show your grandkids any book you write and they will be proud of it, but if you show them a good one, you’ll be proud.

XOXO,

Older, wiser Nicole